The Fly

My hunger is driving me crazy.
I am willing to do anything to satisfy it.

http://www.cyberdunk.com
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Most of the time I feed on human waste.
There are many signs it is bad for my health, but I will
not back down.
The stench is so strong; not many will even go near it.
But it seems I have no pride at all.

I look around and I see a few like me.
At least I am not alone; it is simply my destiny.

Every once in a while I get something better.
Leftovers that were dumped and that are useless now.
But not to me.
I get a taste of what was once real and worthy,
And it gives me enough energy to keep searching.

I hope to find a fortune once.
Something clean and fresh, that will hold for a while,
making me happy.
I know that I will be lucky to get just one feast.
But it is what I live for.

Even when it will get stale, I will try to stay around it
till it ends.
Because it will be my single victory, and it will make feel
full forever after.

Contract

We had another meeting today.
The contract was not specific enough, and it had to be
dealt with.
The work is so hard, I often wonder if it is worth the pay,
as high as it is.
All are envious of me, as they can see only the rewards.

http://www.cyberdunk.com
http://www.talkdep.com
http://www.focusdep.com

They do not have to face her everyday.
She can read my mind and push every button I have.
I often have thoughts that I should give it up and let her
win.
But I know I must not show that I do not care, or the loss
will be total.
I have tried to bribe her many times, but it did not win me
anything at the table.

Does she feel the same? Or does she enjoy the struggle?
I can not ask and reveal my weakness.
I know many work just as hard, but they do not get what I
get.
I hope she feels her pay is worth it, that her gain exceeds
the losses.
Or maybe the hard work does not seem so bad to her; maybe
she enjoys it all.
I see her smile with every small victory, and after all,
she does win so many times.

I sometimes dream we will finish the contract.
Everything will be clear, no more discussion.
We will relax, enjoy what we have accomplished.
But I know it will never be, the contract will never end.
Something new always comes up, that we did not think of
before.
So all I can do is keep trying.

The Castle

Everyone finds a castle sometime.
The castle looks so strong, it seems nothing will make it
fall.
The foundations are deep; the walls are high,
And the space inside is large enough to contain all that
one can imagine.

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Some want to be a part of the castle forever after.
They join the masses protecting it with their lives,
Spend all their time reinforcing the walls, proud to be a
part of it.
After a while, it is hard to tell who they were before they
found their new home.

Others mock the believers: nothing is as strong as it
seems.
They walk among the castles by the side of the road,
Staying loyal to themselves only, never apart of any army.
Never risk losing a thing, they turn bitter by the lack of
purpose.

The rest feel threatened by the strength of the castle.
With haste they attack, digging under the foundations.
While one man can not bring down a mighty structure,
The accumulative effort leaves deadly wounds.

Every castle falls down eventually.
Time will consume the largest of stones.
Then the roof falls down on the heads of its children,
Who will forever wonder what has gone wrong.

Prey

I am laying low, observing.
I can sense their presence.
There are so many around me, but I am invisible to them.
I try to understand where each is going, but there are not
many clues.
I will try to move forward now.
I crawl for a short while.

http://www.cyberdunk.com
http://www.talkdep.com
http://www.focusdep.com

One of them notices me.
She is observing me.
We both know that whatever the distance,
If it was just me and her, I am as good as dead.

I am lucky that she cares so much for the competition.
If she would make a hasty move in my direction, I will be
noticed by all.
She does not want them to have what she does not.
She takes a small step.
While I survived many such encounters, The fear almost
paralyzes me.
I take a step backward.
Now she estimates it will take too long to catch me, and
she gives up.
She goes back to her hunt, and I will never see her again.

I feel relaxed now, too sure of myself.
I move fast, still close to the ground.
When I see her in front of me, it seems too late.
But she does not notice me at all.
We are so close, it is really strange she ignores me.

I can hear her breath.
I am so scared, I can not move for a long time.
It takes me a while to finally understand.
She does not care I am there, I am not worthy enough in her
eyes.
She will not bother to move even her little finger to catch
me.
I walk away, and she does not mind.

From there on I can move freely.
They all know now my flesh is too old, I will not be
bothered again.
While I am glad to be alive, it saddens me to remember my
youth.
I was fast then, I got away from them using my instincts.
The memories make me proud, and it is all I have left now.

Pet

I used to be so lonely living here by myself,
But now I have a pet to keep me company.
It feels so good to fondle her, just to share the touch
with another being.
Now there are sounds between these walls, and I don't feel
so dead.

http://www.cyberdunk.com
http://www.talkdep.com
http://www.focusdep.com

I enjoy taking care of her, being needed by her gives me
worth.
I tell myself I don't mind the trouble at all, one must
give to get back affection.
I have no self-respect, and I work so hard.
I wish I could be a pet, without a worry in the world.

I talk to her all the time, pretending she understands what
I say.
Every sound she makes I try to give meaning to, trying to
make sense of it.
I try to understand her thoughts as well, but it seems
hopeless.
Our minds are so different; I have no idea what it's like
to be her.

She is rubbing against me, and I pretend she loves me.
Is it really love? Or did nature teach her to act this way
so she can use me?
Can she even tell the difference? Or is that love to her?
I know it is impossible to know, I must concentrate on my
own feelings.

I would hate to lose her, so I try to train her to need
me.
Yet I know I can always be replaced.
Am I happier than I was in my loneliness?
I used to be afraid of being alone forever, now I am afraid
of being alone without her.
There is no way out, I will fear for as long as I live.

Mirrors

I don't think she realizes that we are lost for so long.
We just returned to a place in the maze that we have
already been to so many times.
Or maybe we didn't? It all seems the same after a while.
How I wish for that imaginary feeling that we have made
some progress.


http://www.cyberdunk.com
http://www.talkdep.com
http://www.focusdep.com

She trusts me to lead us, and I am ashamed to tell her how
I failed.
She is busy looking at the mirrors, adoring herself.
She will never get tired of it, looks is everything to
her.
At least it distracts her, and she does not pay attention
to our problems.

I promised her it would be fun.
Why wouldn't it be? As long as we are together, we should
be enjoying ourselves.
Yet it is not fun to do the same thing over and over
again.
Not when we each of us is actually alone-
I search for the correct path for us both, while she is
fixing her hair in so many ways.

I try not to look at all those mirrors surrounding us. I do
not like my reflection at all.
Yet it is hard to avoid them, as there is always one in
front of me wherever I turn.
Maybe if I were not so scared, and raised my eyes to look
with courage,
I would have been able to see the right direction for us to
walk in.
I know I should, but my heart fails me.

All I really need to do is tell her. I am aware of her
talents.
She can take us out of here so fast if only she knew I
cared.
Do I want to turn this "fun game" into a display of my need
for her?

I know that as time passes, that moment is getting closer,
And I will not really have a choice.
I will soon lose any chance for the freedom of fresh air-
It is the only place without a mirror in site.

Gambling

She is there again.
I watch her closely, trying to get a sign.
Will she deal me a good hand at last?

I am long aware of her cheating.
It pleases me, since I am the only man here who gets lucky
at times.
I know I cannot win, but I tell myself I am not losing as
much as the others.
I am certain she looks at me every once in a while,
And I stand there waiting for it to happen once more.

http://www.cyberdunk.com
http://www.talkdep.com
http://www.focusdep.com

She is smiling all the time, and I am pretending she is
happy.
Her smile is what draws me to her.
Does she really know I am there, or is it just my
imagination?
I do not care how much I lose, I am happy just being close
to her.
I must have enough to be able to stay, but not many men
have such resources.

When I realize I have nothing left, I look at her once
more.
Only then do I understand her smile.
It is pure evil.
She is not happy I was there,
She is happy I was willing to give everything up for her.

I am thrown out the door with the rest of the losers.
Every one of us had one special girl like her,
And we all have nothing left.

I tell myself there are no real winners in that game.
Those still playing simply have more to spare,
And they do not know how bad it is for them.
I consider myself lucky, since I will lose no more.