Gambling

She is there again.
I watch her closely, trying to get a sign.
Will she deal me a good hand at last?

I am long aware of her cheating.
It pleases me, since I am the only man here who gets lucky
at times.
I know I cannot win, but I tell myself I am not losing as
much as the others.
I am certain she looks at me every once in a while,
And I stand there waiting for it to happen once more.

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She is smiling all the time, and I am pretending she is
happy.
Her smile is what draws me to her.
Does she really know I am there, or is it just my
imagination?
I do not care how much I lose, I am happy just being close
to her.
I must have enough to be able to stay, but not many men
have such resources.

When I realize I have nothing left, I look at her once
more.
Only then do I understand her smile.
It is pure evil.
She is not happy I was there,
She is happy I was willing to give everything up for her.

I am thrown out the door with the rest of the losers.
Every one of us had one special girl like her,
And we all have nothing left.

I tell myself there are no real winners in that game.
Those still playing simply have more to spare,
And they do not know how bad it is for them.
I consider myself lucky, since I will lose no more.

Hanging

I slipped a few times, but the last one was almost fatal.
I look down and all I see is thin air.
The only thing that is keeping me alive is her grasp,
And I cling to her with all the power I find in my heart.

I try to avoid her look. I know it too well without
actually looking.
She is in pain, as I am a heavy burden.
She will do all she can to save me, as painful as it might
be.
I can't stand being the cause to her suffering, but I have
no choice.
It is clear to us both I will never survive the coming
fall.

I know she want me to look. She wants me to be grateful for
what she does for me.
She has all the power, and I am helpless.
Whenever she wants my attention, all she has to do is swing
me a little.
The fear of her letting go is so strong that I instantly
fake emotions.
I must satisfy her, or die at once.

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http://www.talkdep.com
http://www.focusdep.com

Time passes, and nothing changes.
I have tried to climb, to shout for help, even to just find
a bump for my feet to rest on.
She is giving up on me with every failure.
She cannot hold me forever, and her will is getting
weaker.

Her desperate look is too much for me.
I have decided to jump, and she reads it in my eyes.
She holds on stronger than ever, and her love fills me with
assurance.
When she will no longer pay attention, I will free her, and
I will not look back.

Germs

I wash my hands every ten minutes.
I try to convince her to do the same, but she laughs at
me.
She does not see the danger, all them enemies waiting for
our mistakes.
She is so innocent and trusting, and I fail to protect us.

I wish we were healthy again, but that is hopeless now.
There are so many diseases inside us, ready to burst out.
She has a headache almost every night nowadays,
Yet she refuses to admit the illness is here.

I remember the first time I saw her, she was so beautiful
and clean.
I could not have resisted her purity.
While till that moment I thought that I am the cleanest of
all, she made me feel dirty.
All I wanted was to deserve winning her.

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www.focusdep.com

When mud meets beauty, both get smeared.
I have violated her, and she is no longer innocent.
My biggest enjoyment is bathing together, rubbing the soap
against her.
In my mind, she steps out of there a young girl.

She does not agree that we will seek professional help.
What it really means is I have lost her, it is just a
matter of time.
I wash the floor again and again, and when she is away I
whiten the walls.
Nothing bad can happen in a clean white palace, I lie to
myself.