יום שני, 14 באפריל 2008

Father

Father



He watches all I ever do.
I want to be a good child to him more than anything else.
I rarely know what he wants, but my guesses lead my way.
Every decision I make is based on what I think he wants me
to do.

I am afraid of his wrath.
Even when I see no real sign that he is displeased, I still
fear punishment.
I try to convince myself that there are things he does not
know about me, but I fail.
I know that he can see right through me, and read every bad
thought I have.
I drive these thoughts away, but they keep coming back.

I want to earn his love and his pride.
He hardly ever shows me that he is satisfied,
And when he does, I am not sure that I understood it
correctly.
I count every success and every failure, hoping the count
is the same as his.


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When times get hard and I feel I have failed him, I try to
imagine my life without him:
The love I feel for him is the strongest most beautiful
emotion that I have ever had.
I would not have wanted to grow up without him or his
guidance.
I am lucky that I have such a strong father,
Who has given me his protection whenever it was possible.
I owe him all that I have and ever will, and for that I am
eternally grateful.
I pray everyday that he knows how devoted I am to him.

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